I knew this time would come, can’t say I’m really surprised. It’s one of the most popular topics in parenting circles and yet I still can’t say I was fully prepared for the Terrible Twos!
EJ is 26 months now and his vocabulary, although growing each day, is still somewhat limited. I have introduced some signs to help him communicate but as you can imagine, sometimes we just don’t understand each other…. Cue tantrum!
Many times I’m caught completely off guard an unprepared and by the end of the tantrum we are both left rocking in the corner curled up in the fetal position (Just kidding… kind of). And for the sake of my sanity I’m going to go ahead and pretend that every parent goes through this. I’m a work in progress in this aspect. My goal is to be a gentle parent but I’ll be a hundred percent honest and say some of the things I’ve done out of desperation scare the bejeezus out of me! What if I’ve already scarred the boy for life? What if he’ll remember that I yelled so loud that I made the dog retreat in fear???
Just when the panic starts to set in I refer back to a point in time when I felt the opposite as a way to see the light. Just three short months ago (before he was officially two) EJ introduced me to the term Terrible Twos; although I’m pretty sure I was well-rested that day because I dealt with it clearly and calmly.
This is my Facebook status from that day
Just stopped a huge tantrum by telling EJ that even though he was sad he didn’t have to continue crying, that he had a choice. To my surprise he understood me and immediately stopped crying. Then we counted to ten and took two deep breaths. He was very angry during the tantrum and trying to hurt me, as soon as I helped him through it he gave me an unprompted kiss and tried to share his toys with me.
I felt the need to share this so that people can see there is a different way to deal with misbehavior. When I have a meltdown I like to be talked to and helped, I don’t like to be ignored and sent to my room. Our children need us to guide them in dealing with their huge emotions that they hardly understand and find it hard to communicate. By giving him the tools he needs to handle his frustrations, I hope that when I can’t be there one day he’ll remember his choice and control over how he’s feeling and simply close his eyes and count to ten.
I know being a parent is the hardest job in the world and sometimes we yell and sometimes ignoring the epic tantrums and not dealing with it is better than the alternative of completely losing your sanity, but just like it is our job is to nurture and protect our kids; our children’s job is to open our eyes and consider a change in perspective to leave this world a better place than it was when we came in. Don’t be afraid to learn from your children moms and dads, don’t be afraid to tune everyone else out and tune them in.
Ahhh, like a breath of fresh air right? At least that’s what it feels like to me! I have the tendency to see my current situation as the end-all be-all, if I’m having a shitty day (am I allowed to say shitty?) then my entire future must consist of shitty (oops, I did it again) days. That’s obviously not the way things are so I’m implementing changes to snap myself out of the DAG mood. Drawing on previous joyous memories is a current favorite of mine and I sure hope I get to write out the next blog with more ways I’ve been changing! I’ve just been too
busy procrastinate-y to post… Hopefully I’ll get to it sometime before the next end of the world.
Until next time
Love & Light,
The Awakened Momma