Tag Archives: awakening

I Bend So I Don’t Break

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I Bend So I Don’t Break
I’m happy, I have a life filled with love, I have amazing opportunities and access to resources to make my dreams happen. Life is good…AND

I’m.

Still.

A.

Fucking.

Mess.

Seriously, don’t let the pretty pictures and inspirational quotes on my Instagram mislead you. I stumble and even fall on the regular.

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New Year’s in November

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You guys, this is not a drill! Its November of 2016!!! Who’s responsible for this? How did we get here? Did someone forget to take their finger off the fast forward button?? WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!!

*Deep Breaths* Well, we’re here now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So… that means that there’s only 33 days left until we’re supposed to start making outrageous promises to ourselves and Read the rest of this entry

The importance of child-like joy

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The importance of child-like joy

Things that bring me child-like joy:
🌾The smell of Lemongrass
💜The color purple (and teal)
😂Laughter (especially my children’s)
🎶Happy music (especially dancing my heart out to it)
🎙Singing my heart out (forever butthurt that I wasn’t born with singing voice though)
🌳Trees
🌌Looking at the sky
🏖The beach
🍽Picnics
🍉Good food
💗Kindness
💏Romance
📸Photography
🎨Good art in any form
💓Having a positive influence on my surroundings
👫👫Being around likeminded people.

When was the last time you stopped to think about the things that bring YOU child-like joy? The joy of a child is like the magical language of the universe yet there is such little emphasis placed on mastering this language in our society. Even I’m guilty of not implementing a lot of the things on this list into my daily routine. But why tho?!! Joy is freaking amazing!! Why are we holding back from experiencing more of it?!!
Making this list made me realize that putting off certain things for when I have “more time” is the biggest mistake I’m making. Are you making this same mistake too? I challenge you… Write a list of some of the things that bring you child-like joy, then make it your goal to incorporate as many of those things into your life on a consistent basis as possible. Do this, and watch the magic of the universe unfold before your eyes 💗💗💗

The Present: Part 2

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Thank you for coming back to read the second part of The Present! Here’s part one in case you missed it.

I’ve been battling my addiction ever since I admitted it here and it’s been (and continues to be) a heck of a journey. I win some I lose some, but last night definitely felt like winning game one of the World Series.

I started my morning with stress pouring out of my pores. I decided to make the best of things and took the kiddo to a playdate. On the way there I listened to this…

Today, I will find my soul in the here and now. I will release all ghosts/pains from my past so I may vanquish all ills. I will no longer hold onto pain until it becomes anger. I will no longer hold on to pleasure before it becomes an addiction. Past and future are only the dreams of who I was or what I might become. The present moment is the only meeting place of where you will find your soul.

-Deepak Chopra’s Soul of  Healing  Affirmations

The playdate was a success for both Mommy and Baby. When I got home my stress greeted me at the door. It climbed on my back and demanded a piggy back ride up the stairs. My usual response to this is to hold on to the load all day long while spending every possible moment distracting myself from the overwhelming stress-induced anxiety I am feeling; instead I decided to fully throw myself in a productive task.

And that’s when the magic began!

I slowly started unloading the stress. As if every second that passed a grain of rice kept falling out of a heavy barrel I bared on my shoulders. Somewhere along the way I reached a place where I didn’t feel the need to escape. The weight of the barrel was no longer overwhelming. When the end of the night came I looked at my barrel and was astonished to find it completely empty. I was so tuned in to my day that I didn’t even realize I hadn’t thought about my previous source of anxiety all night. I went through my whole day and I showed up for it! I was present!

“So what?” Right? Well as an outsider you are probably saying ” I do that everyday. Want a cookie?!” But really this is my deepest, darkest struggle. I have lost countless hours, days, weeks, even months to my addiction to distractions. It haunts me everyday, and yet I’ve continued to let it have power over me.

But yesterday was different.

Yesterday was an ordinary day made extraordinary by being fully in the present. I’m holding back tears as I’m writing this. There were dark and desperate days when I doubted this day would ever come. A day when I could transform my fears and anxiety into joy and peace, all. on. my. own. No distractions necessary. This small but sweet victory has been a long time coming and was just what I needed. My intentions are finally starting to manifest and it truly feels magical.

I wish I would’ve blogged more during the journey so you could know the bits and pieces that collaborated together to lead me to this point. I’ll try my very hardest to blog about it retrospectively but I’m not making any promises ;-P. I’m not a good multitasker so I’m either living or blogging, can’t do both.

Now I’m off to show up for my day today, but not before I thank you again for taking the time to support me by reading this. I’m grateful for you!

Make it a magical one

Love & Light,
The Awakened Momma

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Dear Anyone

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Dear Anyone

Dear God,
Dear Source,
Dear Angels,
Dear anyone who’s listening….
I have forgotten.
I have forgotten how to be still,
I have forgotten how to be mindful,
I have forgotten how to listen,
I have forgotten my mission,
I have forgotten how to be me.
I have forgotten how to be.
I have forgotten and it is causing me suffering.
I want to wake up.
I feel like I’m trapped in a dream and every now and then I get a glimpse of the real world. I want to stay there, in the real word. Please help me hold on. Please help me wake up.

Love & Light,
The (un)Awakened Momma

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A Love for All Seasons

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A Love for All Seasons

Despite it being an abnormally chilly weekend in the sunshine state, I’m finally defrosting! The feelings of self-doubt and overwhelming anxiety are thawing away thanks to a wonderful Saturday with my boys and a Sunday morning watching Super Soul Sunday on OWN (which is my equivalent of going to church). I’m still overwhelmed, but now it’s with a feeling of love and gratitude.

How blessed am I to have a healthy son whose eyes shine brighter than the sun when he looks at me?

How blessed am I to have an amazing husband who loves me and is not afraid to tell me so?

How blessed am I that I found my soulmate early on in life, so that my experience on this earth is magnified because I get to share it with him daily?

How blessed am I that here are people who care about what I have to say? (You reading this blog, and the friends and family that stick by my side)

How blessed am I to be here and now?

How blessed am I to be alive?

The answer is, I am infinitely blessed (and so are you!).

I’ve spent the past few weeks beating myself up, feeling like a failure, and then beating myself up some more for not doing anything about it, and then my soulmate gave me the most beautiful gift: he listened to me and then he replied from his soul.

He told me to observe nature. In nature, winter doesn’t instantly become summer and night doesn’t instantly become day. In nature there are moments of transitions (spring and fall, dusk and dawn…) and as observers we view those moments as breathtaking and transcendental.

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Then he asked me to observe myself. I am a part of nature, I follow the patterns of cycles and transitions the same as nature. Why then, do I not allow myself the same patience that I have with nature? Why can’t I enjoy my beautiful sunsets and sunrises and even my rain showers? Why do I hold these unrealistic expectations of myself to become a master overnight and then label myself a failure when it doesn’t happen? In reality there are a lot of reasons why I do it, but none of them matter. The point is to realize that it is what I’ve been doing and just simply stop… At the end of the conversation we closed our eyes and breathed together.

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Didn’t I tell you I was blessed? That man, he fits so perfectly in my heart! I strongly believe we were put on this Earth to find and love each other. He helps me love myself more deeply and places no conditions on his love for me. He loves me when I don’t love myself. Whether I had a good day or a bad day, whether I finished my to do list or not, whether I got glammed up or didn’t even make it out of my pajamas… Doesn’t matter to him. I love that man…

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Ok sorry (not really) for the mushiness but I just had to put that out there for the world to know. After all this is my mountaintop and I just climbed it and yelled at the top of my lungs followed by a dorky happy dance to proclaim my love for the man of my life. Hope you still want to read my blog now that you know how corny I am ;).

I hope you all had an amazing weekend with the ones you love ❤ ❤ ❤

Love & Light,
The Awakened Momma

The Freedom Within

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I’m frozen :-/ … I talked about it in my previous post about anxiety and its what’s been keeping me away from the blog. I have so many things I want to write about but nothing breaks through the layer of ice keeping me in a mindless limbo. In an attempt to revitalize my mind I have been rereading things I have written during moments of bliss. I ran across this poem and found it perfect. It sparked a little light in me, may it spark a little light in you too…

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