Tag Archives: divine spiritual being

I Bend So I Don’t Break

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I Bend So I Don’t Break
I’m happy, I have a life filled with love, I have amazing opportunities and access to resources to make my dreams happen. Life is good…AND

I’m.

Still.

A.

Fucking.

Mess.

Seriously, don’t let the pretty pictures and inspirational quotes on my Instagram mislead you. I stumble and even fall on the regular.

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Celebrate good times, come on!

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It’s my blogiversary!!! A year ago today, after the kiddo went to bed, I sat down and wrote this. I was pretty desperate for change, for progress. Life was overwhelming me, suffocating me little by little everyday (that sounds really dramatic). It wasn’t THAT bad, but in the midst of it I knew that I was not living life to the fullest.

Fast forward a year and I’m very grateful for the divine energies that encouraged me to sit down and write that night. Even though this blog is severely neglected, it has definitely been fulfilling it’s purpose of helping me heal. It’s almost as if I was tied by anchors and thrown under water before; now every time I bare my soul on here its like loosening another anchor and swimming closer and closer to the surface.

I’m at a point now where I feel like the constant anxiety freezes that used to overcome me are becoming distant memories and my moods are constant and happy overall. I count my blessings everyday by keeping a “gratitude jar” and I’m working hard at tossing old habits and thought patterns that no longer serve me. I’ve found healing in so many places, people, and resources and I do hope to write all about it one day. I have many unfinished blog posts but everything will happen in divine time.

I wish I was cool enough to host a giveaway to celebrate my blogiversary, but alas I’m only mildly cool so 20 random facts about me will have to suffice. 😉

1) I’m an introvert.
2) Loving myself has been one of my biggest challenges but I have a much better handle on it lately. I rock. 
3) I’ve been married to my high school sweet heart for five years (celebrated last week!) and I’m still crazy in love with him. He rocks. 
4) I’m convinced I learn more from my little than he does from me. He super rocks. 
5) I never wanna cut his hair! You can’t make me 😝
6)) Growing up I wanted to be a ballerina, dentist, lawyer, psychologist, massage therapist, teacher. In that order. 
7) I decided to become a photographer when searching for a birth photographer and weeping over how amazing the images I encountered were. My soul was moved!
8) I change my mind weekly about wanting more kids. 
9) I have a huge bucket list. 
10) I move a lot. Probably over 2 dozen times since I was little. 
11) My sweet tooth is a monster. Her name is Grumbelina. 
12) I’m getting tired of saying “I”
13) Laughing (obnoxiously) is my favorite. 
14) I’m not afraid to dream big. I wanna be great. 
15) I suffer from severe hangry-ness. I could have my own snickers commercial lol. 
16) I still remember reading the first Harry Potter book, I don’t think I left my room for two days. 
17) This list is getting random. I love lamp
18) I can have a full conversation with just movie and tv references. If you think that’s hard…that’s what she said. 
19) I dislike small talk but I love deep and meaningful conversations. 
20) I thought this list would never end. 

So that’s a bit about me. If you read that, thank you! This post has been a bit rushed so forgive any errors, I will come back and edit it. Just wanted to post it in time to commemorate the fact that a year has passed and life has indeed gotten better!

Love, light, & blessings,

The Awakened Momma

Candy-Coated Fear

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This is the element of freedom...

This is the element of freedom…


Being human sometimes feels a lot like a hugely elaborated video game puzzle where the main character has no freaking clue that they’re in a game. You don’t see the helpful hints or the extra lives that are flashing on the screen, all you know is that you are on a mission and there are many challenges ahead. At least that’s what my life felt like lately and quite frankly I’m done with it… Read the rest of this entry

A Love for All Seasons

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A Love for All Seasons

Despite it being an abnormally chilly weekend in the sunshine state, I’m finally defrosting! The feelings of self-doubt and overwhelming anxiety are thawing away thanks to a wonderful Saturday with my boys and a Sunday morning watching Super Soul Sunday on OWN (which is my equivalent of going to church). I’m still overwhelmed, but now it’s with a feeling of love and gratitude.

How blessed am I to have a healthy son whose eyes shine brighter than the sun when he looks at me?

How blessed am I to have an amazing husband who loves me and is not afraid to tell me so?

How blessed am I that I found my soulmate early on in life, so that my experience on this earth is magnified because I get to share it with him daily?

How blessed am I that here are people who care about what I have to say? (You reading this blog, and the friends and family that stick by my side)

How blessed am I to be here and now?

How blessed am I to be alive?

The answer is, I am infinitely blessed (and so are you!).

I’ve spent the past few weeks beating myself up, feeling like a failure, and then beating myself up some more for not doing anything about it, and then my soulmate gave me the most beautiful gift: he listened to me and then he replied from his soul.

He told me to observe nature. In nature, winter doesn’t instantly become summer and night doesn’t instantly become day. In nature there are moments of transitions (spring and fall, dusk and dawn…) and as observers we view those moments as breathtaking and transcendental.

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Then he asked me to observe myself. I am a part of nature, I follow the patterns of cycles and transitions the same as nature. Why then, do I not allow myself the same patience that I have with nature? Why can’t I enjoy my beautiful sunsets and sunrises and even my rain showers? Why do I hold these unrealistic expectations of myself to become a master overnight and then label myself a failure when it doesn’t happen? In reality there are a lot of reasons why I do it, but none of them matter. The point is to realize that it is what I’ve been doing and just simply stop… At the end of the conversation we closed our eyes and breathed together.

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Didn’t I tell you I was blessed? That man, he fits so perfectly in my heart! I strongly believe we were put on this Earth to find and love each other. He helps me love myself more deeply and places no conditions on his love for me. He loves me when I don’t love myself. Whether I had a good day or a bad day, whether I finished my to do list or not, whether I got glammed up or didn’t even make it out of my pajamas… Doesn’t matter to him. I love that man…

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Ok sorry (not really) for the mushiness but I just had to put that out there for the world to know. After all this is my mountaintop and I just climbed it and yelled at the top of my lungs followed by a dorky happy dance to proclaim my love for the man of my life. Hope you still want to read my blog now that you know how corny I am ;).

I hope you all had an amazing weekend with the ones you love ❤ ❤ ❤

Love & Light,
The Awakened Momma

The Freedom Within

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I’m frozen :-/ … I talked about it in my previous post about anxiety and its what’s been keeping me away from the blog. I have so many things I want to write about but nothing breaks through the layer of ice keeping me in a mindless limbo. In an attempt to revitalize my mind I have been rereading things I have written during moments of bliss. I ran across this poem and found it perfect. It sparked a little light in me, may it spark a little light in you too…

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Affirmations: The Unharnessed Power of Words

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Affirmations: The Unharnessed Power of Words

Words, words, words. We speak thousands of words a day but how much consciousness actually goes into those words? And how many of those thousands are really serving us? Do you often find yourself saying things like “I feel awful”, “this sucks”, “this is too hard!” Or some people’s personal favorite: “life is a bitch!” (Oh yeah, I went there). I’m not pointing a finger though, I’m right there with you. When life gets challenging I break out my DAG (Doom and Gloom) vocabulary.

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Way To Go Wednesday!

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Way To Go Wednesday!

  I ‘ve reread my last post a few times since posting it and I instantly felt all of the negativity and frustration climbing out of my screen and back into my being. I’m glad I wrote the post, it helped me release, but I want to do a little soul uplifting today so I dub today “Way to go Wednesday”! 

Way to go Wednesday is just a quick list of the things I’m doing right. I’ve already admitted that I tend to be my harshest critic so in the spirit of change and enlightenment….

This is Why I’m Hot:
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