Tag Archives: love

I Bend So I Don’t Break

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I Bend So I Don’t Break
I’m happy, I have a life filled with love, I have amazing opportunities and access to resources to make my dreams happen. Life is good…AND

I’m.

Still.

A.

Fucking.

Mess.

Seriously, don’t let the pretty pictures and inspirational quotes on my Instagram mislead you. I stumble and even fall on the regular.

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Happy National Coming Out Day!

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Happy National Coming Out Day!
Man walking down road at sunset

Man walking down road at sunset

As much as I dislike labels I love that today is national coming out day and I’m loving reading all these coming out stories being shared on the interwebs! On June 12th 2016 when 49 LGBTQ lives were brutally taken I wept and I wept for weeks afterwards because although I never really cared to label myself, those were my people; I identified with them. They were free spirits who loved who they loved and who were true to themselves (even if just in places like Pulse where they were supposed to be safe).

In my ideal world labels would be useless because we would all just see each other for the beautiful souls we are and that would be that. I’m an optimist so I have hope that we are moving closer and closer to that ideal world but until then I have to admit that labels do serve a purpose. Labels tell others “Look, you’re not alone! I’m with you!!” Anyone who’s ever been desperately lonely can tell you how powerful that statement is. In a world filled with 7 Billion people, no one should ever feel like they are the only one!

So here I am, about to type out the words that I’ve only uttered to a select few, my brain trying to assure my trembling fingers that this is no biggie. I’m bisexual… This doesn’t change anything and it changes everything. Some people will inevitably look at me differently but I don’t care about those people, those are not my people. The ones I care about are the ones who will look at me and say “You are who you are so that means I can be who I am!!!” Those are MY people. I’m doing this for me and I’m doing this for you. I love you ❤

Love always,

The Awakened Momma

 

A Love for All Seasons

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A Love for All Seasons

Despite it being an abnormally chilly weekend in the sunshine state, I’m finally defrosting! The feelings of self-doubt and overwhelming anxiety are thawing away thanks to a wonderful Saturday with my boys and a Sunday morning watching Super Soul Sunday on OWN (which is my equivalent of going to church). I’m still overwhelmed, but now it’s with a feeling of love and gratitude.

How blessed am I to have a healthy son whose eyes shine brighter than the sun when he looks at me?

How blessed am I to have an amazing husband who loves me and is not afraid to tell me so?

How blessed am I that I found my soulmate early on in life, so that my experience on this earth is magnified because I get to share it with him daily?

How blessed am I that here are people who care about what I have to say? (You reading this blog, and the friends and family that stick by my side)

How blessed am I to be here and now?

How blessed am I to be alive?

The answer is, I am infinitely blessed (and so are you!).

I’ve spent the past few weeks beating myself up, feeling like a failure, and then beating myself up some more for not doing anything about it, and then my soulmate gave me the most beautiful gift: he listened to me and then he replied from his soul.

He told me to observe nature. In nature, winter doesn’t instantly become summer and night doesn’t instantly become day. In nature there are moments of transitions (spring and fall, dusk and dawn…) and as observers we view those moments as breathtaking and transcendental.

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Then he asked me to observe myself. I am a part of nature, I follow the patterns of cycles and transitions the same as nature. Why then, do I not allow myself the same patience that I have with nature? Why can’t I enjoy my beautiful sunsets and sunrises and even my rain showers? Why do I hold these unrealistic expectations of myself to become a master overnight and then label myself a failure when it doesn’t happen? In reality there are a lot of reasons why I do it, but none of them matter. The point is to realize that it is what I’ve been doing and just simply stop… At the end of the conversation we closed our eyes and breathed together.

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Didn’t I tell you I was blessed? That man, he fits so perfectly in my heart! I strongly believe we were put on this Earth to find and love each other. He helps me love myself more deeply and places no conditions on his love for me. He loves me when I don’t love myself. Whether I had a good day or a bad day, whether I finished my to do list or not, whether I got glammed up or didn’t even make it out of my pajamas… Doesn’t matter to him. I love that man…

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Ok sorry (not really) for the mushiness but I just had to put that out there for the world to know. After all this is my mountaintop and I just climbed it and yelled at the top of my lungs followed by a dorky happy dance to proclaim my love for the man of my life. Hope you still want to read my blog now that you know how corny I am ;).

I hope you all had an amazing weekend with the ones you love ❤ ❤ ❤

Love & Light,
The Awakened Momma

Grateful for This Mombie Monday

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Grateful for This Mombie Monday

Oh Monday, I don’t even have a regular job and you still manage to stand out against the other days of the week. 
Monday is like the eldest sibling who won’t be overshadowed by those pesky younger sibs. Monday’s gotta keep mom and dad (those unsuspecting fools) on their toes. Well you got me again Monday!

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18 Months/79weeks/550 Days

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18 Months/79weeks/550 Days

18 months. 79 weeks. 550 days.
That’s how long it’s been since that moment.
That moment that you’ll never remember and I’ll never forget.
That moment when I felt every possible human emotion in the amount of time it took you to exhale your first breath.
That moment when a piece of myself first lived and breathed outside of me.
That miraculous moment.
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Way To Go Wednesday!

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Way To Go Wednesday!

  I ‘ve reread my last post a few times since posting it and I instantly felt all of the negativity and frustration climbing out of my screen and back into my being. I’m glad I wrote the post, it helped me release, but I want to do a little soul uplifting today so I dub today “Way to go Wednesday”! 

Way to go Wednesday is just a quick list of the things I’m doing right. I’ve already admitted that I tend to be my harshest critic so in the spirit of change and enlightenment….

This is Why I’m Hot:
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