Although I’m not too keen on labels (I explain why here), sometimes they make things easier to explain. When it comes to my parenting style I really just follow my instincts and try whatever works for me. Surprisingly what works for me seems to work for others as well and there’s even a label for it: Attachment Parenting or AP for short! I don’t call myself an attachment parent but once I read over their eight principles I noticed I was already striving to adopt them into our lives.
Anywhoozle, the reason I bored you with that precious info is because I think I’m not alone in sometimes throwing my hands up in the air and incoherently wondering “Why is this so hard?!” If we follow our instincts and there’s even studies to suggest we’re not entirely crazy for co-sleeping and breastfeeding into toddlerhood, then how come sometimes I just want to lock my boobs away and fantasize about sleeping alone in the guest room so I can get my first full nights sleep in almost two years? There has to be a missing piece to this pie right? Well, in a moment of either sheer genius or sleep-deprived induced insanity I found that missing pie piece and ate it!
Yes it’s our parental instincts that makes us want to nurture our kidlets and create secure attachments with them, but maybe the reason why it can feel so hard in modern times is because those instincts were meant to be backed up by the support of a community. Ever heard the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child”? I don’t know about you but I barely know my next door neighbor’s name, and the thought of leaving my little with anyone (with the exception of very few people) is straight up petrifying yo! Therein lies the issue, parenting is awesome but when it’s just a one (or two) man job it’s exhausting and someone’s needs are bound to go unmet. A “village”, consisting of multiple people that support and respect us and our choices that are readily and locally available, is the missing cherry to our parenting ice cream sundae (can you tell I’m a recovering sugar addict?).
So there you have it, I’ve pinpointed the problem. But this blog isn’t about pinpointing, it’s about a magical six letter word… SLEEP? No that’s only five, sorry I meant CHANGE! Yes that’s right change, I have a problem and I don’t like it so I’m going to change. It’s not going to be easy, I am not a social person. When I first meet someone I feel like an idiot who never says the right thing. After all, I couldn’t hear the person’s name over the sound of my brain freaking the heck out! When I do gain a friend, I’m not even sure I make a good one! Again with not saying the right things and sometimes getting so caught up in my own storyline that I forget to reach out and keep in touch. So yeah, I don’t know how or when but I will expand my circle of support. I will reach out and make genuine connections with others and our lives will be enriched because of it. Simply coexisting with our fellow (wo)men is not enough, relationships, community, connections… That’s what makes life worth living, that’s what we need, that’s what our children need, that’s what we’ll find!
Are you a loner like me or are you cool enough to have a village to call your own? Tell me about it in the comments and share with me how your community (or lack thereof) influences your life!
Love & Light,
The Awakened Momma